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You Hurt My Feelings Movie Review

You Hurt My Feelings is a 2023 dramedy film directed by Nicole Holofcener and starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus. It’s a simple, but very well acted and honest indie.

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“You know nice is not a nice word“

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A novelist’s long-standing marriage suddenly turns upside down when she overhears her husband give his honest reaction to her latest book. This is a very relatable movie to me as it depicts so honestly the dynamics of a relationship. Anybody who has ever been in a relationship can relate to the feelings shared by the protagonist in this film as she grapples with the ideas of honesty or lack thereof and the importance of validation from your significant other.

Nicole Holofcener is a wonderful storyteller. Admittedly, her writing is much stronger than her directing in this film that is overly simple and lacking any significant directorial or cinematic flourishes. Still, the script alone sells it as the dialogue is very realistic and the situations are also grounded in reality. It depicts the importance of white lies and how everything would crumble down if we started telling each other what we really think.

Yes, the characters in this movie are somewhat unlikable and they are upper class archetypes, thus not being fully relatable to us regular folk. However, the movie compensated for that with its self-aware humor that makes fun of the small quibbles that these characters have. It also truthfully depicts that even the smallest of arguments can turn into a bigger issue if left unresolved.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus was terrific in the main role of Beth. She’s a television actress who rarely gets to be in movies, but here she proved herself as a commendable screen presence. Her dramatic and comedic chops are both strong. Tobias Menzies is also pretty good as her husband and their dynamic was phenomenal.

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The movie dealt well with the son character and how he feels neglected, which often happens when married couple are as close as this one is. The arguments in You Hurt My Feelings do seem trite at first, but they usually morphed into meaningful discussions about honesty and trust. The warm-hued cinematography was a delight, but technically speaking the film was rather plain. But in terms of dialogue and unexpectedly strong humor with earned emotional engagement, the movie soared.