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I Care a Lot Movie Review

I Care a Lot is a 2021 thriller film directed by J Blakeson and starring Rosamund Pike and Peter Dinklage. It’s a terrible movie.

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“You may be a man, but if you ever threaten,

touch, or spit on me again,

I will grab your dick and balls,

and I will rip them clean off“

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A shady legal guardian lands in hot water when she tries to bilk a woman who has ties to a powerful gangster. Judging by the premise and the great reviews, I’d expected a powerful, sophisticated take on the crime thriller genre, but what I got was one of the worst movies that I have seen in quite a while, certainly the worst since ‘Tenet’.

This is a textbook example of how a movie can go from good to bad to horrible in the span of two hours. Yes, the beginning was pretty strong. I got invested from the start as I found the injustice of this situation painful while the movie was ripe with great dramatic possibilities. Unfortunately, they never explored what it would be like to con older people like this in the real world nor did the movie ever seem grounded in any shape or form.

That is an understatement. This is one of the most painfully unrealistic movies in a while. You can make such a movie, but make it be fun and exciting, but this one tried to be deeper and “sophisticated’, and that is where I draw the line. By slapping “an anti-capitalist statement” at the far end of the movie after the whole film was about nothing at all, this terrible director attempted horribly wrong to get away with a messy movie by playing it dirty.

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The result is over 80 percent on Rotten Tomatoes with the majority of critics falling for its “message” when in reality the movie is not only far from sophisticated, but it’s plain dumb in many of its situations. In fact, this entire movie is one big giant plot hole containing many smaller plot holes, and the fact that many failed to see these problems speaks to how horribly biased woke liberal critics are. You can’t make a terrible movie and tell me it’s great just for having a lesbian couple and a powerful woman at the center of it.

So, Marla is a con artist who makes a living somehow convincing the legal system to let her “take care” of elders. She then takes their house and their money while they are put in the care facility. Again, at first the movie had some promise to explore this abuse, but they went too far with it by basically making the entire system corrupt and criminal, which is simply not true, especially not for the US. The first huge plot hole is the gullible judge who is one of the most unrealistic people in the entire movie.

None of the trial scenes felt realistic in any way. Why would anybody believe this horrible woman with no proof whatsoever? Where are the other judges to help make the decision? How can the entire care facility be corrupt? There are so many questions to be asked in regards to this whole procedure that simply stating that it’s fun doesn’t help its case. It’s a horrible script, there’s no getting around it.

This was bad enough, but now the Russian mafia is in the mix (oh those Russians, always spoiling everything with their mafia empires). They are so powerful and yet they failed at any given task in the clumsiest of ways. In a ridiculous movie such as this one, they were the worst, which says a lot.

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And then what happens? After so many warnings and bad mouthing, finally the mafia decides to attack the couple. In real life, they would have made their movie infinitely sooner, but okay, they finally did it. That entire sequence at the facility made me laugh, and not in a good way. None of it was believable at any capacity. Afterward, she fearlessly has a fun chat with the Peter Dinklage character despite literally being close to death, then they push her car (again in a silly way) and she lands in water where she majestically escapes drowning like a badass superhero that she was always destined to be.

And how does the movie end? Well, by the two becoming the best of buddies of course! At this point, I was officially done with this movie and nothing could have saved it. I just can’t with this level of stupidity. That “message” at the end didn’t save it in the slightest, it only made it worse as the movie acted all pseudo-intellectual and cool while being utter trash. A mediocre Marvel movie is better than this travesty.

I Care a Lot has one saving grace and that is the acting of course. Peter Dinklage is terrific and perfectly cast while Dianne Wiest is very memorable in an intriguing role. The standout is of course Rosamund Pike who hasn’t been in a major movie since ‘Gone Girl’. Although this character was terrible, at least she was great at playing her. He was made to play a powerful villain and her turn here demands audiences’ attention and it’s the only reason why I didn’t give up on the movie. The director is atrocious and his work here is laughable and the script and dialogue are some of the worst in quite a while for Hollywood.

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I cared little for I Care a Lot. Rosamund Pike is fantastic in the main role as she was born to play villains effortlessly. Dianne Wiest and Peter Dinklage are also terrific per usual. That’s pretty much it, though. The acting is so great, in fact, that I felt so terrible watching these awesome actors waste their talent on this train wreck of a movie. The entire film is a giant plot hole consisting of a multitude of plot holes in literally every single scene. You have this con artist who somehow fools the entire legal system into letting her put older people in a care facility while she robs their houses. Then the Russian mafia comes (ah, those villainous Russians always arriving to spoil everything), who are apparently so powerful, yet their every move was idiotic beyond measure. That hospital shootout scene made me laugh out loud, and not in a good way. Then, our superheroic female protagonist escapes death like a badass bitch that she is, and the ending sees her team up with the man who was trying to kill her just days before. None of it made sense. Everything was horribly misguided and the worst thing is that this atrocious director decided to put some type of an anti-capitalist message at the end, thus somehow making this movie “deep”. Are you kidding me with this? I can’t with this movie. Had they made a stupid film to be fun and silly, I would have been okay with it. But they made a pseudo-intellectual, woke trash that of course the critics ate up because seeing a badass female protagonist makes them wet their pants like a Marvel fanboy. The worst thing with these critics is that they will pinpoint one plot hole in an otherwise great movie and tear it down, but this one gets a pass for numerous biased reasons. I had been already mad watching this atrocity, but upon reading the reviews, I was genuinely triggered. Garbage.

My Rating – 2