Conan the Destroyer (1984)
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Conan the Destroyer Movie Review
Conan the Destroyer is a 1984 fantasy film directed by Richard Fleischer and starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Grace Jones among others. It’s a silly little film.
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“I suppose nothing hurts you.
Only pain.“
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I liked ‘Conan the Barbarian’, I didn’t love it. But this one is much worse and obviously inferior to it. I wouldn’t call it terrible as many would because it is undeniably entertaining, but it’s still a mediocre affair mostly because it’s just too cheesy.
The storyline is adventurous, fantastical and interesting, but it is executed in such a cheesy, silly and comedic manner that it ruined the potential for a spirited adventure. The film has so many ridiculous situations and stupid scenes that it can become laughable. Particularly the costumes and the effects made the film look very dated and unintentionally campy.
I have never liked Arnold Schwarzenegger and this movie is the biggest proof of how horrible he is. Because they tried to make the film more of a comedy, his performance thus was unintentionally funny and simply awful as he doesn’t do comedy well at all. His line delivery is atrocious and he truly is a horrible actor who only got opportunities because of his looks.
As for the new characters, they are all rather silly. Grace Jones as Zula definitely is the best of the bunch and she is rather charismatic and better than she was in ‘A View to a Kill’. But all of the others, especially that princess character, are rather silly, dull and forgettable. The feminist angle to this picture is forced and lacking any nuance to it whatsoever. It made the film seem childish and rather dated once again. The villain was also obvious from the start.
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Conan the Destroyer definitely is fun. There is no denying that. There are a lot of fun action scenes here as well as solid fights and I did admire its emphasis on adventure and exploration as well as magical and fantastical elements. If it weren’t for the campy, silly approach, it would have been one hell of a fine blockbuster, but sadly that approach ruined it.
Conan the Destroyer is an inferior sequel which is undeniably entertaining to watch with a fun emphasis on fantasy and adventure, but the approach is way too comedic leading to a silly, campy movie. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s acting is even more horrible than usual here plus all of the new characters are either silly or pointless.
